How to make a marriage work?
How to make a marriage work? It’s according to a set of rules and principles that marriage work. A healthy marriage is based upon the feelings of love, communication and safety. In an unhealthy one lies jealousy, lack of communication and power tussle. No one can deny the ups and downs in a married relationship. But in a healthy marriage, there should be no place of violence or fear. At no point, you should feel as if your partner is going to tear you apart. Equality is the basic principle of a healthy marriage, around which, rest of the factors as mentioned below, revolve.
- Valuing opinions
- Listening non-judgmentally
Trust and support:
- Trust in your partner’s beliefs and opinion.
- Supporting his/her life goals.
- Respecting personal space.
Honesty and accountability:
- Accepting responsibility for the behavior of oneself.
- Acknowledgement of past mistakes
- Avoid insult: Don’t use the sensitive aspect of your partner as your ammunition to fight. Don’t try to insult each other.
- Don’t insult each other’s family.
- Don’t threaten or intimidate your partner.
- Avoid harsh language.
- Stick to the present issues, avoid discussing the past.
- Listen and accept if you find your partner’s point right.
- Don’t mix up the subject of discussion with other events.
- Be open to admit your mistake
- Avoid ultimatums.
- Be willing to compromise.
- Approach conflict as a problem which both needs to resolve.
- Always re-evaluate your perception.
- Avoid acquisitions and attacks.
Phrase to be avoided:
- You never
- I always tell you
- You always
- I don’t want to discuss
- When will you mature
Remember, if one looses, you both loose. Always re-evaluate your perception.
Always remember! Love is a two-way street. But love in itself is not sufficient to keep the marriage in perfect health. This needs a lot of skill, devotion and sacrifice. No one is a born master in these skills. Don’t fear to stumble upon. But learn to rise in love after falling.