The right way to criticise someone
A second thought must be given before uttering the word of criticism. Anything said or behaved can’t be reversed back. So, the direction and intent of the barrel of criticism must be checked and rechecked before the trigger to be used.
You should ask two questions to yourself before criticising someone:
- Is the criticism a part of my business or concern?
- Is the criticism not only correct, but is it necessary?
If the answer to either of the questions is “NO”, then BACK OFF! If the answer to both of the questions is “Yes”, then proceed with the criticism, but in a mannerly way. Ask for, and receive, permission to criticize. Criticism should be done in absence of any third party. The onset should not be abrupt at any unintended place. Be in emotional control and logically explain your concerns. No yelling, crying, swearing, threats, physical, or emotional intimidation. The discussion should be focussed on the issue in question. Refrain from character assault. Ego clash should be avoided. While in the process, simultaneously convey your acceptance, affection, and unconditional positive regard towards the subject. Also keep appreciating the person for his positive qualities. The process should not just be a one-way bombardment. Love and care should be communicated. Your intent to make the subject a better individual should be crystal clear to the subject. The genuineness of the person criticising the subject should be firm and strongly evident.