Phases of Abusive Marriage

Abusive marriage stats are rising every day. People are suffering out of this highly aspired institution. There is a specific line of flow which an abusive marriage proceeds.

The very first phase is the honeymoon phase. This is the phase of love, romance, and outpouring emotions. The batterer shows deep love and behaves in an apologetic and attentive manner in case of any mistake on his part. Actually, the batterer is manipulative which makes the victim develop the feeling of guilt and responsibility for thing going astray. If any abuse occurs on the part of batterer, the latter promises change and the victim considers reconciliation.

Next arrives the tension building phase in which the batterer experiences increased tension. His tension become intolerable and his behavior turns unpredictable. This may include physical or sexual violence. The relation turns cold and the communication line minimizes. The victim tries to minimize the problems and develops stress, fear, low self-esteem or depression.

The third one is the Explosion phase. This is flooded with the incidents of hitting, choking, humiliation, imprisonment, rape and use of weapons. The victim acquires the self protective mode.

One may choose to take the legal resort and move out of the home or try to reason out the things with calmness. This may neutralize the issues and things may move into the honeymoon phase again.

What if you are moving in this cycle? As the stages are of extreme emotional turmoil, the person may take extreme irreversible steps threatening his decent survival or creating an indelible mark on the timeline. Extreme caution needs to be exercised while moving along. The participant should introspect themselves to find out their priorities and need. Any emotionally blinded step could be disastrous.

A healthy marriage should be based upon the principle of equality having no place of emotional rage, anger or intimidating behavior in the form of violence. Anger and its repercussions could not be justified under the guise of basic natural emotions.

Related topic: How to make a healthy marriage?

Don’t let your Negative Affectivity spoil it!