Illusion of romantic love
Right since childhood, a series of social agencies indoctrinate the minds creating the illusion of romantic love. One remains surrounded by romantic poems, novels, stories, movies and even music. This universal cultural intervention shapes this deepest psychological expectation. One is made to believe that this romantic love is an integral part of human fulfilment. A detailed expected thoughts and feelings are created which just need a trigger to materialise the long procrastinated fantasy.
Due to socialization, the individual just prepares a dream image of his/her love charm within his mind. As soon as one finds someone even feebly similar to the image, the individual projects his/her entire fantasy upon the other. The person creates the entire image within oneself and enjoys living and visualising those image with the support of the person in front. That’s why, romantic love is called blind because the person in love is basically responding to his self created fantasies which had been nurtured since childhood. It has hardly to do anything with the qualities of the person with whom, he/she is in love. All seem spectacular, especially the person with whom one is in love.
Of course, this phase of courtship is much enjoyed by the participants, but the basic question remains that can one plan the future life based upon this self created world of fantasy which has hardly any concern with the reality. Such bubbles doesn’t last long and blows out with a silent pop leaving the eyes wet.
Relations should be built upon reality, not fantasy. Of course, this type of relations lacks the high fantasy surge, but truth is always better than fiction at least in the matters of relations for life. Instead of projecting one’s own feelings, its better to understand the qualities and negativities of each other and then plan a future relation based upon the compatibility quotient.
“Real love isn’t just a euphoric, spontaneous feeling- it’s a deliberate choice- a plan to love each other for better and worse, for richer and poorer, in sickness and in health”
– Seth Adam Smith