How to deal an altercation ?
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If we observe the altercation of any type minutely, similar kinds of behavioural dynamics are involved. The participants show various learned techniques of intimidation like screeching voice, twitching of arms, clenching fist, pointed fingers, facial expression of rage and so on. This is much similar to the expression of anger techniques followed by all the animals. However, this technique seldom works to achieve the desired goal in case of human beings. Even if it succeeds rarely, the treaty is not sustainable. Peace can never be established on shaky and fake foundation of emotional tyranny.
We are human beings, the most developed creature on earth. At least we should display some positive difference other than the animals in this regards. Altercations could be avoided, provided the individual develops a balanced and stable framework of mind and adopts certain strategies which are mentioned as under.
Related Article: How to control over emotions?
- Part yourself: Behind every violent shield, there lies a threatened individual not necessarily by you, but may be because of something or someone else. You just provided a trigger to spurge this defence mechanism of the individual which was already in place. Even though, the voice may be targeting you, but the real cause lie within their personality, upbringing and past experiences. Most of the accusations are based upon their past experiences and their subjective interpretation. They seldom have any relation to you. It’s useless to waste your time and energy in such baseless altercations. So, don’t take it personally and part with them.
- Avoid ego clash: What angry people say never has any factual base, but has emotional content which reflect their fear, frustration and bruised ego. Most of the argument remain buried inside the incidents of the past. Any attempt of discussion with a person is such state always fail because in such a state of rage, one is always narrowly focused and listens only to their preconceived beliefs. Inflated egos are most vulnerable to the slightest poke. Kill ego, live life!
- Be calm and save your sanity: Suppose, someone is driving recklessly on the road. What will be your attitude towards him? Will you try to splash near him, open the window shields and engage in a conversation? Or will you choose to maintain a safe distance to keep your dignity and calm intact? Basic defences of angry self-justifying people are projection and denial. They will put all the allegation of diminishing equation upon you. Is there a way to negotiate with such person? There are none.
- Give them what they want: Say sorry, listen to them with empathy, sound to agree with their ideas and affirm with them in their theory of hell. It’s the intelligent way to be nice and peaceful thus preserving one’s energy go waste in the form of non-conclusive arguments which might drain you out leaving you with the simple animal reflex.
We are human beings,
We should behave like them!